13 October 2012

Kämpar för att hantera denna gigantisk sorg.

Honestly, I don't have much energy to do anything including writing this blog, but I should try to do something step by step even though I know it's impossible to be healed that fast from the sorrow. Just slowly maybe. Yet, I feel the silence without our dog at home, and that reminds me of the fact that there's no our dog here at home anymore. Unbelievably silent & empty. I have to go to school & work, so there are things to do anyway. But still, you can never forget him wherever you go, or whatever you do, though. It just takes much time for me & my family to overcome this. 

So, I cooked breakfasts, lunches and dinners for my grandma for both making her feel better and not feeling the sadness. We were physically hungry but couldn't feel the tastes much. It was like, you just fill your stomach with no emotions. I just hope so much that my family can enjoy their meal times as soon as possible. If you can feel "tasty" from the bottom of your heart, that's going to be your happiness and mental satisfaction, I believe. I think, that's why, food is one of the most amazing things in the world. 

I've bought this ashes' locket for my grandma. She'll always be together with our dog from now on.
I have a locket that I haven't used since I bought it, so I'll put his ashes in that, and wear it all the time.

 My heart has been so blank inside, so I've decided to take care of some berries, figs and herbs in the garden. I ordered a cranberry tree, a raspberry tree, plants of Italian parsley, chive and oregano today. I'm looking forward to growing them & using them for my cooking. I wish I could buy my own "koloniträdgård" where you can grow vegetables, fruits or flowers in Stockholm in the future. Koloni in Sthlm looks like this....↑

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